/ɪnˈtaɪtl̟mənt/ nounplural en·ti·tle·ments1 [noncount] a : the condition of having a right to have, do, or get something
▪ my entitlement to a refund
b : the feeling or belief that you deserve to be given something (such as special privileges)
▪ celebrities who have an arrogant sense of entitlement
2 [count] US : a type of financial help provided by the government for members of a particular group
Obviously this article isn't going to be about government financial aid, basic human rights, or being an heir to the throne. None of these things generally stand in the way of people becoming stagnant in progress or smug about the things they believe they are deserving of. Though one could make a case for government financial aid being a big enabler in that regard. I will not do so in this article however.
I think that "b" however, sums it up quite nicely.
The FEELING or BELIEF that you DESERVE to be GIVEN something........
Feeling...
Belief...
Deserve...
To borrow a quote from the enigmatic character Will Munny from the movie Unforgiven, "deserves got nothing to do with it."
One of the most prominent issues with people these days, in my opinion, is so many now in the "participation generation" believe they are owed something. That it is their "right" to have something. By that I mean, something they have not earned or worked for. Maybe it's not fair of me to single out younger people in that regard. So I'll take that back. I think it's a problem with some people just in general.
As usual, this belief spans the entire paradigm of their existence. It saturates their attitude in relation to their job, relationships, love life, and every other endeavour of their undertaking.
Many people believe they are owed something. Where this sense of entitlement comes from, I do not know.
The permeation of it is injected into their words and actions on a continuous basis. When Jamie and I were doing podcasts, for free....on OUR time, people complained that it wasn't on a certain file sharing service or that it wasn't as high quality as they expected.
Here, fuck...and you.
That was time that both of us set aside in our personal life, to dispense either training information, or entertainment. We didn't charge for it. We did it because we enjoyed the banter and because we thought we could help some people out in the process. Yet, people still had complaints. I'll remind once again, that it was free. Yet certain people still felt the need to bitch that it wasn't to their liking in some way. God damn, it was free.
This reminds me of a story I recently heard where this group of fat asses were complaining about all of their food at the IHOP. This dish was too cold, the eggs were too runny, this piece of meat was overcooked......so the manager said the meal was on the house. Yet family fat ass still continued to bitch about said meal. At the point the manager said the meal was free, family fat ass essentially lost their right to bitch, moan, and complain. As far as I'm concerned they did. And I would have chest kicked their fat asses right out of the place until their dogs back home died.
Regarding relationships, I wish I had a dollar for every time I read where a woman wrote "I deserve a good man." Oh really? Why? What basic human right or promise made in life gave you that belief? That you DESERVE a good relationship, or a good man? I'm totally befuddled by this thought process.
A GOOD relationship is generally made up of two people who have each others best interest in mind. That want to fulfill the needs of the other person and that their own happiness is also dependent on the happiness of the other person.
A person who believes they are deserving of something generally only has their own best interest in mind. Which means, they feel all of the needs of the relationship should revolve around them. That they should be emotionally catered to, and that they DESERVE that.
What kind of relationship does that look like for the other person? You know, the one you are so deserving of? Looks pretty shitty from the window I am peering in through.
Both people in a relationship have to be fed properly by the other in order to grow together. If one person is constantly wanting to lay back and be fed grapes by the other, eventually the grape feeder will realize he or she is hungry as well, and will take their grapes someplace else. Namely, to someone else. Don't bitch or moan about a lack of "good partners" in the world if you can't remember the last time you took time out to feed yours properly. Whether that be emotionally, sexually, financially, or mentally. Relationships are a full course meal, and once you start leaving out the meat and potatoes, people will find food elsewhere. It's your fault for believing that you're the only one that requires to be fed. It's your fault that the other person eventually became hungry. Selfishness is a gluttonous whore and she has no idea how to nurture the wants and needs of another.
People in careers often feel entitled to certain position because of how much time they have put in, or because they kissed X amount of ass. Being in the IT field, I can say that I've been around my fair share of ass kissers, and indeed sometimes this happens (the ass kissers getting moved up the chain) and the right people get passed over. The "right people" generally being the ones that do most of the work, but less of the brown nosing. I can't blame the ass kissers totally, I mean it takes a complete dipshit of a manager to not understand when someone doesn't know what the fuck they are talking about, but promotes them anyway because they're willing to let management run a bukkake chain on them.
It's generally the person who does just enough to keep their job, but also expects the promotion that has the overwhelming sense of entitlement. The "worker" doesn't care about that shit, and the ass kisser, well, that person is working hard at ass kissing. So they are both doing something that is at least productive in some kind of way.
Developing a sense of entitlement is exactly what you need to do if you desire nothing. Procrastination is the lipstick worn in copious amounts by the lips that apply the kiss of death to any form of progress or growth in our/your life. And entitlement is the body those poisonous lips are attached to.
Developing a sense of NEED for something earned, constant earning, will always produce growth. Even if it's just a modicum of growth and betterment, it's still better than dying an agonizingly slow death because your attitude reflected that of a spoiled rotten child.
Always earned.
Never given.
That's the attitude required for person growth.
Great article, but that photograph is fucking awesome. I know so many people at work who are summed up entirely by that picture.
ReplyDeleteYou should collect these types of posts, the Facebook status' and what not... and turn them into a "Thoughts About Life, Training, And Crap" book.
ReplyDeleteI'll be honest, I was with you until you started talking about the guys in IT doing jobs getting passed over. I'm a software engineer, and everything I've worked on has done well--and I'm told I'm a big part of that happening.
ReplyDeleteI was given some promotions, going up the ladder. And let me tell you, the grass is brown up there. It's not butt kissers alone, it's the type of problems you have to worry about that suck. It's the expectation from the company that all your spare time belongs to them. It doesn't sit well with them when you have to spell out that for 8 hours a day I'll do everything in my power to make the company better, but after 8 hours it's my time.
I do much better with technical work, and am quite content to let the butt kissers figure out politics. I hate that game with a passion, and that's all that's in the management position.
But yeah. I agree with the sheer number of people I run into these days that believe they have the right to have what you have without paying for it in any way. I've done the best I can to make sure my kids don't end up like that. So far so good, but they are a minority.
I think it's just human nature to want everything at no expense, but it does seem that my beloved generation has become inflated with the expectation of having it all with minimal/no effort.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of the podcasts, any plans of posting any more? I always found them to be entertaining and useful, I greatly appreciated the time taken by you, Jamie, and everyone else that contributed.
Not at this time.
DeleteFor every entitled prick that has some complaint about the FREE information you're offering, Paul, there are many who truly appreciate the time you've put into this and your sharing of your experience so that we don't have to learn everything the hard way. Thanks for everything you've put into this blog.
ReplyDeleteThanks man.
Deleteexactly.
DeleteI've become a lot more aware of this entitlement mentality in the last year. I transitioned out of the military and am attending a major university now, and the outlook these kids have is truly astounding. The world revolves around them and their problems, nothing is ever their fault, and they have no awareness of the world around them. These kids literally step out in front of cars without looking either direction, while blaring music through their shiny new Beatz that their daddy's bought them. It's amazing more of them don't get hurt.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. Your writings have helped me put some pretty stressful times in context, and you and Jamie have influenced my training a lot. Speaking of, it saddens me that you guys aren't planning any more podcasts. I know you're both very busy, but a lot of us really enjoyed those. Well, thanks again!
You never know......
Deletegreat article, but i do have to say, miss the podcasts like crazy....
ReplyDeleteNothing to add...THAT WAS AWESOME! Truly one of your best!
ReplyDeleteThanks again for the great insight. ×me too on missing the podcasts. I would pay a little for em if I had too. Better than most other entertainment I gotta pay for.
ReplyDelete