Sweet pic!!! I have a question for you as well Paul. It isn't about training but I think you can offer helpful insight. I agree with many of your opinion pieces and such that you post on here. I have been working as a counselor at a summer camp (kids between 1st and 6th grade). It's a summer job so I'm going back to college in a couple weeks. I have one very difficult kid in my group, he rarely listens and constantly talks back. I was curious as to how you think I should treat a very difficult child. I find your discussions on topics like this helpful and informative. It's all tied into the whole me,me,me thing many kids have nowadays imo. Thanks and sorry for the off the wall question but I'm interested in seeing your answer.
Most kids like that, do so because they are attention needy and don't have structure in their life. Usually at home. Kids really want discipline and structure because it makes life easy for them.
I have a friend who has 2 bad kids. He complains all the time they are bad and act fucking crazy. I told him "that's because they just want you to give them some time and discipline". He asked how....I told him "sit them down the next time you have them, tell them this bullshit is coming to a stop. Take away the Wii, tell them that they have to earn it back. stop sending them to their rooms when they are bad. Put them in the corner with their hands in the air. Tell them this is what is going to happen if they don't act right. At the same time, read to them at bedtime. Find some activities that you guys do that bring you closer together. Reward them for their good behaviour, and punish them for the bad. Don't send them to their rooms. They act like little assholes because they want attention from their dad."
It worked. He ended up having the best weekend with his boys he could remember.
Now these are little kids, and that is their dad but I think the same "principles" apply. I'd take the kid aside and let him know the disrespect isn't going to be tolerated. That if he can't respect you he won't be part of the group activities. That you want him to participate and kick ass, but that you can't respect him if he won't respect you.
Ask him to shake on it as an agreement, but that it's a mans agreement. Ask him if he wants to learn how to be a man. When he says he does, tell him that a man is only as good as his word. So when he shakes on it, he's giving his word that he's ready to respect you, and be a part of making the group more awesome. But that if he can't, then he won't be treated like part of the group.
Sweet pic!!!
ReplyDeleteI have a question for you as well Paul. It isn't about training but I think you can offer helpful insight. I agree with many of your opinion pieces and such that you post on here. I have been working as a counselor at a summer camp (kids between 1st and 6th grade). It's a summer job so I'm going back to college in a couple weeks. I have one very difficult kid in my group, he rarely listens and constantly talks back. I was curious as to how you think I should treat a very difficult child. I find your discussions on topics like this helpful and informative. It's all tied into the whole me,me,me thing many kids have nowadays imo. Thanks and sorry for the off the wall question but I'm interested in seeing your answer.
Most kids like that, do so because they are attention needy and don't have structure in their life. Usually at home. Kids really want discipline and structure because it makes life easy for them.
DeleteI have a friend who has 2 bad kids. He complains all the time they are bad and act fucking crazy. I told him "that's because they just want you to give them some time and discipline". He asked how....I told him "sit them down the next time you have them, tell them this bullshit is coming to a stop. Take away the Wii, tell them that they have to earn it back. stop sending them to their rooms when they are bad. Put them in the corner with their hands in the air. Tell them this is what is going to happen if they don't act right. At the same time, read to them at bedtime. Find some activities that you guys do that bring you closer together. Reward them for their good behaviour, and punish them for the bad. Don't send them to their rooms. They act like little assholes because they want attention from their dad."
It worked. He ended up having the best weekend with his boys he could remember.
Now these are little kids, and that is their dad but I think the same "principles" apply. I'd take the kid aside and let him know the disrespect isn't going to be tolerated. That if he can't respect you he won't be part of the group activities. That you want him to participate and kick ass, but that you can't respect him if he won't respect you.
Ask him to shake on it as an agreement, but that it's a mans agreement. Ask him if he wants to learn how to be a man. When he says he does, tell him that a man is only as good as his word. So when he shakes on it, he's giving his word that he's ready to respect you, and be a part of making the group more awesome. But that if he can't, then he won't be treated like part of the group.
That's how I'd handle it.
Thanks Paul. This is EXTREMELY helpful. I like that "I can't respect you if you can't respect me idea." That's golden.
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