Thoughts about life, crap, training, and stuff

Don't ever forget this life lesson - There is no such thing as true friends, outside of your dog, and no one REALLY deserves a second chance.

This has been proven to me over and over and over again as far as relationships and friendships go.

No matter what, your best friend will sell you out over something.  This isn't cynicism winning, this is just factual.  Everyone has a breaking point, and when it is reached that friend will sell you out.  And you will sell them out.  True friendship, I believe, may be the rarest thing in the entire world.  You can be there in every way, shape, and form for someone for months on end and at the drop of a dime, they can turn on you.   For very little it seems too.  These are friends with very low thresholds for breaking.

"He was mean to me.  I'm not his friend anymore."

On the flip side of that, you will have friends who will go through fire for you too.  The ones that will show up when you are at your lowest, and stand by you through it, until you are good again.  These friends have breaking points too, however the threshold is much higher.

I personally believe these thresholds are governed by forgiveness.

Some people just can't let shit go.  No matter the circumstance.  They want to hold on and hold on and they never let anything go.  They want to wallow in self pity and remain fragile and weak.  They are like delicate flowers that wilt and die unless they are in a very CONTROLLED environment.  These people are the weak and meek, and they hide in corners crying like a bitch when times get tough and you need them.  Instead of standing up and thinking about what they can do to help you in a bad situation, all they think about is how that situation might effect them.  And if it does, they will never let it go.

They can't be counted on or depended on.  These people love their insecurities and love being the victim.  It's never anyone else's fault.  They never own a god damned thing.  And you can't make them own it.

You probably know someone like that.  I know I do.

They constantly have issues with everyone in their life.  But it's never their fault.  They can't look in the mirror and figure out, the one constant in all of their failed relationships IS THEM.  And will say they are justified in their feelings that they were wronged.  They aren't.  At some point if you care about someone, you let go of the anger and you move forward with them.  If you care about them, that is.  If you didn't really care, you'll cut ties and say fuck it, and find someone else to wilt on.

Now obviously there is a point where someone else is a burden on your life, and you have to cut ties because they are dragging you down into the abyss of shit.  I know this feeling all too well.  But generally that comes after many times of going through things with this person that helps define your relationship.  When you realize that things aren't going to change, and the relationship will be one of chaos and stress, let it go.  It's hard to do, but you must if you care about your own health and well being.  And even then, you can still agree shit went bad, and not hold resentments.  That is, if you are mature enough to do so.

Learning to weave through this intricate pattern of relationships and friendships is a part of life.  We all have to deal with it the way that makes sense to us.  It may not make sense to someone watching it from the outside, but it does to us.  And that doesn't mean what we are doing is the right thing either.  Shit, I've said over and over again, you can't make clear decisions about a situation when you have emotions involved.  It's not until after enough time has passed, and those feelings have subsided that you can look back and see things clearly. And then you often realize that the people that were watching it from the outside looking in, had it right.  And then you're like "well why didn't you fucking tell me?"

"We did.  You wouldn't listen."

I stole the line (and Wendler stole it from me) that you can lock your girlfriend and your dog in your trunk.  Come back in two hours and let them out and see which one is happy to see you.  They don't call him mans best friend for nothing.

Long story short, I saw both sides of this over the last week.  I had a close friend I had invested a lot of time and energy into helping get through some problems, and in the end I got shit all over for my troubles.  But another friend checked in on me that evening to see how I was doing, and ended up coming by and reminded me that I do have people that will reciprocate the caring.  And that pretty much made shit better on the spot and I ended up doing a bunch of happy claps like a retarded seal begging for a fish.

Truth is, I've been through the ringer with both people.  But in the end, one took a shit on me, used me, and didn't care about doing that, while the other one stood beside me.  Those things matter.

There is a saying that goes "if you can't stand by me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."

Truer words never spoken.

Mind your friends that have insecurity and jealousy issues.  If you don't think those attributes can be turned at you, you're living in a fucking fantasy world.  Be mindful of friends like that and how you handle them.  If you give them too much, in the end, they probably will end up shitting on you because their life is controlled by negative connotations with people and situations.

There, I feel better now.

For anyone who didn't see, I pulled an easy 620 this past weekend so I feel good that barring an injury the next two weeks, all of my 2nd attempts should be in the bag.  That's 635 squat (no belt/no wraps), 425 close grip bench, and 650 deadlift.  This would give me a very shitty 1710 total totally raw.  Depending on how the 2nd attempts go I will take a run at 1800.  If 635 is the smoke show on squats, I'll run at 650.  I don't see myself attempting more than 450 on bench even though I think I'm going to be good for a little more.  But you never know.  The dead I'm always worried about.  If 650 pulls easy I'm going to go ahead and try 700.  This would give me the 1800 I've been wanting.  It's not great compared to the top guys, but honestly, I compete to better myself and have a focus for my training.

After the Nationals, if I qualify for the Worlds I will do the Worlds in Palm Beach.  If I don't, I am done with competing I think.  In powerlifting anyway.  If I make it to the worlds, that will be it.  I like the training aspect but the fact is, it costs a bit to travel, I have three kids, and it's not my "life".  I know some guys live and breathe it. I don't.  I do enjoy it but it's not the be all end all of life for me.  I have no many other things I want to do before I get a lot older.  Getting a nice total under my belt is something I want to do, but I'm not going to feel like I missed out if it doesn't happen.  My life is bigger than numbers on a piece of paper.

Someone told me I should do bodybuilding.  Man I don't know about that.  The one thing I do appreciate about bodybuilders is their commitment to what they do.  Bodybuilding is a completely encompassing endeavor.  You have to be dieting or eating a certain way all the time, and you don't miss workouts or cardio sessions for any reason.  However as with powerlifting, I don't know if I want to commit myself to something that much.  Maybe something I do 1 time, to say I did it.  But that would be it.  Who knows.

My fight instructor blew out BOTH patella tendons this weekend and dislocated both knees.  Went and spent some time with him in the hospital yesterday and gave him a lot of shit about not stretching enough (it's an inside joke).  6 weeks with both legs in braces and then 6 months of total rehab.  I'm going to name him Lt. Dan in the meantime.

Ok I have had some questions about the percentages in the big15 and strong15 programs.  Guys, there are spreadsheets that come with both programs.  All you have to do is plug in your max where it's asking for your MAX, and it will layout the whole program for you based on your max.  This was supposed to take out the guesswork.

Second, I've been asked if you should add X amount of pounds after running the cycle for the second cycle.  Mainly for the big15 program.  You can, or you can just use the same programmed weights and try to beat all of those PR's again.  This is personally a fave of mine because I already have a baseline for what I want to beat again.  And the higher the reps with heavier reps, the bigger you're going to get.

The Werther's caramel filled hard candies are damn tasty.  I could eat about a million a day.

I will get around to seeing The Fighter this week but I'm pretty sure it's going to be like every other boxing movie ever.  Or for that fact, like every other sporting movie ever.  Here's how it goes......

Team/Dude/Chic is down on their luck or hasn't been winning.  Something happens to shake things up, like a new coach or terrorist attack.  Team/Dude/Chic is forced to deal with new circumstances but then breaks losing streak and eeks out a victory.  Team/Dude/Chic buys into new philosophy and then lays waste to the competition for a while.  Until the end, where they make you believe there is some doubt, but Team/Dude/Chic pulls it out (Friday Night Lights and the original Rocky being the exceptions here).

My guess is, that's what will happen, although I hear that Bale is fantastic in it.  So we'll see.

The blocked Netflix at work.  Fuckers.

Alistair looked like shit in that fight.  Josh Barnett looked solid.  This Strikeforce tourney is going to be very interesting over the next few months.  I'm excited.

I hope everyone had as great a weekend as I did.