When I was a younger man, the opinions of my peers were important to me. I think the need for acceptance or approval is a common trait in young men. Even in so called "alpha males".
But as you get older and life hands you out bigger priorities than being king shit amongst your friends or getting the last word in, things start to change. You learn how to not sweat the petty bullshit.
You really begin to understand that YOU have to live your life, and be happy with it. Damn what people who don't matter in your life thinks about it.
I think the lifting community is made up of a metric shit-ton of guys who care too much about what everyone else thinks, or thinks that their opinions matter more than they really do.
But isn't that life too?
At the end of the day, all that matters is that you're happy with your own bullshit. Because we all have bullshit in our life. But some of it is worth dealing with, and some of it is not. It's up to you to decide what bullshit is not worth dealing with, then being smart enough to break out the pressure washer and spray it off. When you're able to do this, you'll find out that you're a much happier person, and that's good for you and the people around you. Because they don't want to deal with your bullshit either. Right?
The thing I'm getting at here is, don't seek happiness through the acceptance or approval of others. Because you're life will end up being an empty shell a lot of the time. You're not always going to be able to make people happy, and a lot of people aren't going to accept you for who you are in some ways. And that's perfectly fine....so long as you're not the Unibomber or Charles Mason (and even ol Charlie got a lot of people to accept him and even call him Jesus. How about that?).
People who do crossfit take shit
Powerlifters take shit
Bodybuilders take shit
Runners take shit
Triathletes takes shit
Everyone takes shit at some point or another. Whether it's for what sport they decide to pick up, their lifting philosophy or methodology, the clothes they wear, the car they drive. Someone will try to find a way to say you are lesser for what you have or what you do or believe.
My attitude? They can go eat an AIDS sandwich and keep bitching.
You know why? Because that's what haters do. They hate. That's their job. If you're doing something that makes you happy, gives you fulfillment who they hell are they to tell you it shouldn't? But, take it as compliment. Everyone who has ever done ANYTHING worth talking about has haters. Bam. Period.
Hot women have haters everywhere. They are called ugly women who feel self conscious at the sight of hot women.
"Look at her girl, you know she thinks she's all that."
Guys do it when they see a guy they see women staring at.
"That guy? Total douche bag. You kidding me?"
It's all about breaking other people down in order to make them feel better. You need to meet THEIR criteria for something in order for them to not feel offended. Fuck that. If my training ecstasy and enjoyment comes from running a stretch band up my ass crack until I bleed and I feel like that makes me strong, who is to tell me it doesn't? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Whatever. Not that I do that. But still.
Only spend time with the people who will cry at your funeral and live your life in a way that gives you fulfillment. The haters can pick up some haterade on aisle 9 then go bathe in a cancer sauna.
Awesome post to head into the weekend with. Learning to take pride in your accomplishments and being accountable for your own success is a hard earned lesson, atleast for me it was.
ReplyDeleteThanks Paul, hope the injury heals up quick.
Thanks Jason. Have a good weekend!
ReplyDeleteThis post in addition to your excellent training advice, and not trying to sell shit products is why your site is one of the best out there.
ReplyDeleteHave a nice weekend Paul.
"The haters can pick up some haterade on aisle 9 then go bathe in a cancer sauna."
ReplyDeleteAbsolute classic hahaha. Nice one Paul.
geoff
Ha. Ha. I just saw the PIC of Kat William and started laughing!
ReplyDeleteWord!
ReplyDeletePaul,
ReplyDeleteIts funny that you posted this. At the school that I work in I am the only male teacher and I grow frustrated because I take a lot of shit for being a guy and for being hired because I am a guy and not what kind of teacher I am. I have only been in it for a few years and it is very frustrating. I have started to get some anxiety from seeking acceptance from my work peers.
I finally realized, who gives a fuck. As long as I am reliable and do my job, who cares. My mother has battled anxiety for a long time and told me this weekend to be stronger than anxiety and be reliable and positive to those who matter to me. Hearing that and reading this has really given me a good solid reality check. I know I can improve and focus on what really matters (just like in training).
I really appreciate you writing this article, it has helped me out.
Dave
Pleasure is all mine Dave. Glad it gave you some encouragement.
ReplyDeleteIf you got 20 haters now you better have 40 by summer. I love me some haters. Without em, we're just cruising through life and no one is noticing.