"No I won't eat those cats. Those aren't organic cats! I'm certain they weren't fed strictly from Atlantic Salmon!"
Only if it's organic! |
Ok don't ask how this came up. I was driving into work one day and this song hit me out of the blue. And I thought about how hilarious and fucking absurd (and disturbing) it is.......
Here is the video and the lyrics that I will comment on.
It was a rainy night when
he came into sight
Standing by the road, no umbrella,
no coat
Ok so she's traveling along, and sees a drifter. Prolly looks like Wendler without teeth. Big ugly ass beard, skoal in his mouth. Doesn't even have a coat on. So he's really bad off.
So I pulled up along side and
I offered him a ride
He accepted with a smile
so we drove for a while
I didn't ask him his name,
this lonely boy in the rain
Fate tell me it's right,
is this love at first sight
Love at first sight.......nuff said.
All I wanna do is make love to you
Say you will
You want me too
All I wanna do is make love to you
I've got lovin' arms to hold on to
So we found this hotel,
it was a place I knew well
Whore.
We made magic that night.
Oh, he did everything right
He brought the woman out of me,
so many times, easily
Well apparently our coatless drifter in the rain is actually Don Juan in disguise! He knocks the bottom out of it all night long!
And in the morning when he woke all
I left him was a note
I told him
"I am the flower you are the seed"
We walked in the garden
we planted a tree
Don't try to find me,
please don't you dare
Just live in my memory,
you'll always be there
How would he find you? He doesn't have a car! He's a drifter!
All I wanna do is make love to you
One night of love was all we knew
All I wanna do is make love to you
I've got lovin' arms to hold on to
Oh, oooh, we made love
Love like strangers
All night long
We made love
Then it happened one day,
we came round the same way
You can imagine his surprise
when he saw his own eyes
I said "please, please understand
I'm in love with another man
And what he couldn't give me
was the one little thing that you can"
So let me get this straight. Chic has been with one guy all this time, but he couldn't give her kids. So she's been banging drifters the whole time hoping that one could knock her up. Not telling her guy this, and he's been hitting it after the drifters, or whoever. NASTY!
Second, this guy is STILL A DRIFTER! After all these years he's still out there! Amazing! And this is the father of her child! I don't know which one of the two is more pathetic.
All I wanna do is make love to you
One night of love was all we knew
All I wanna do is make love to you
Say you will, you want me too
All night long
All night long
All night long
All night long
Tom Platz and bulking -
If you don't know who Tom Platz is, google him. Tom was famous for his unreal training intensity and quad size.
Anyway here is what The Golden Eagle wrote was his offseason bulking diet......
MORNING (Prior to trainnin) : Two Pieces of whole grain toast with butter and jelly, juice or milk, coffee Supplements
Lunch : (After Workout) Three to six eggs, Hamburger patty, sliced tomatoes , juice, two pieces of bread
Snack : Cheese (quite abit ) and crackers a glass of milk
Dinner : Very large prime rib salad (with cottage cheese, nuts, ) Bread and butter Piece of pie of ice cream , coffee or milk
Snack : Evening Couple pints of ice cream or bag of nuts
Looks like just about any Joe Blow's diet. And i caught shit for my dirty bulking diets? And it was for skinny guys! This was Tom's pro bodybuilding offseason bulk diet. I guess he should have been told it didn't work! This is what I mean about this dieting shit out of hand. If you wanna get big, eat a shit ton of food. It's all up to you on how fat you want to get. But guys who get big, eat big or went through period of eating big. And it's not usually clean. I address this in the book.
Tom you'll never get big eating like shit! Chicken breasts and tuna asshole! Paleo! Keto! |
The table of contents for the mass book is below......
Philosophy of Training - 3
The Mentality of hard, heavy training – 4
Buy in - 4
Eating for Maximum Size – 5
Training for maximum size - 10
I need bigger arms syndrome - 12
Hard Training, Perceived Intensity, and Intensity - 13
Training Economy and Recovery - 14
Session Range/Grading – 80% +10% -10% - 15
Frequency – 18
Doc Brown the Lifter – 19
Train Movement Patterns, not Muscle Groups for overall mass – 20
Intensity Techniques - 21
PI vs Volume – 22
The meat and potatoes of my training – 5-4-3-2-1-back off - 23
Deloads - 24
How to make this program work for you – 25
Conditioning – 26
The Routines – 27
Keys to making all of this shit work and Q&A – 30
Final Word – 31
Special Thanks - 32
I could have written more, but it's basically my philosophy of training (which is what its called by the way) and I didn't need to get overly wordy about lifting hard, lifting heavy, and lifting consistently to make shit happen.
I think that people are right when they say that women are difficult to deal with in terms of dieting because of the emotional connection they have with food. This has been a battle I've had with every woman I have ever trained. I flat out do not fucking get it. If you are good on your diet, then are allowed a cheat, just do the cheat and get back on the horse. Why do women sabotage the whole diet after a cheat? It's fucking insane. They are either fucking up their diet 6 ways till Sunday or are strict as shit. You can't give them a cheat meal. They don't know how to deal with it.
Movies I seen this past week -
Salt
Sucked. The ending was so anti climatic that it's hard to explain.
Angelina Jolie was also so skinny I kept trying to rub a cheeseburger on the TV screen to see if she would take a bite.
Yeah you're hot, but eat something!!!! |
Tomorrow night Battle: Los Angeles comes out. I want to go see this but I will wait. I never go see anything opening weekend. No matter what. I love the theater but I hate people in it usually. I go there to enjoy a show. Not listen to kids cry and watch them run and down the aisles or see people texting with their bright ass cell phones in the dark theater. I also hate going into an R rated movie and seeing people bring little kids into this shit. Yeah yeah, save me the horseshit about how it's their kid and all that. There is a reason movies have ratings. I believe you shouldn't subject small kids to things like a guy walking around with a giant penis out for two hours (Watchmen) or brutal killing and beheading and shit (Freddy vs Jason and don't ask why I was in the movies to see this). Yeah it's your kid, but I just believe that kids should be spared from some shit like this. It's hard for kids to separate fantasy from reality at times. Trust me my 12 year old acted like a sissy for a week after watching Poltergeist. Which was PG dammit.
I won't lie, I dread some of the "can I do" questions that will come with the release of the programs. Not that I mind helping, obviously I don't. But sometimes you just gotta ask for forgiveness rather than permission.
I'm still running the same diet for like 6 weeks now and my weight seems to be settling in at around 233. I would still like to get a little leaner to be honest. I'm feeling pretty small though. I went to see a couple of buddies from Krav the other night and they both made me feel small. That never happens. I won't get off the course though. My goal is and has been, a lean 242 for a while now. I'm pretty close. If I were 242 at my current leanness I'd be a happy man. Then that 1800 raw total would be my last goal. Maybe........
I really think the strong-15 program is going to be the shit and I'm really excited over it. I don't say that because I wrote it (ok so partly) but because it has worked so well for me and other people I have put it on.
Screw the NFL.
Screw the anonymous troll that is too sackless to leave a name. You know who you are.
Women are retardedly complicated. Yes you are!
Charlie Sheen. Nuff said.
I think it's bullshit that the Rebels blew up the Death Star and are cheered as heros. What about all of the independent contractors that were working on that thing, that were not member of The Empire, and were just trying to feed their families? Such horseshit.
Terrorist? |
It's Thursday. That's like the caution light for green light Friday.
I'm waiting for Battle of LA too. The critics so far have said it's mostly crap but what's not to like about a good action/destruction of the world flick??
ReplyDeleteWell I know what I'm going to see. I'm not expecting No Country For Old Men.
ReplyDeleteGood work, as always, Paul.
ReplyDeleteI'm still running the 5/4/3/2/1 BU as recommended - my appetite has gone through the roof - I'm craving sweet stuff like never before - sad thing is, I'm giving in to it.
Keep going with the book - I'm looking forward to it.
Eat fruit Phil. That will curb that.
ReplyDeleteGreat post as always. That Platz diet didn't seem to mad until dinner time! Man I wish I could just get the flab off and get back on the bulk train. The book sounds great.
ReplyDeleteHonestly Paul - I'd have to strap myself to the toilet I'd be having so much the fibre overload would kill me !
ReplyDeleteI'll try it anyway.
Paul wrote..."Angelina Jolie was also so skinny I kept trying to rub a cheeseburger on the TV screen to see if she would take a bite"
ReplyDeleteLMFAO, its shenanigans like this that make your blog a hoot to read. Btw, I tried the same thing with my genitalia but to no avail :(
damn I know Im gonna be guily of a "can I do" question...
ReplyDeleteapologizing in advance.
Matty
Steve I was going to try the genitals too but the wife got angry.
ReplyDeleteIt's all good Matty, it's going to happen.
Haha on Jolie. I have been saying the same thing about the new T Mobile girl everytime that commercial comes on.
ReplyDeleteAl
Re: Movies.
ReplyDeleteCheck out "The Next 3 Days". It's on video now.
You'll like it.
Matt
Paul,
ReplyDeleteAre you still doing the diet with the MRP packets for most of it?
What post was that under? Would you be able to link to that?
I'm having a tough time following much of a diet as of right now. I have a feeling I need something simple and that might do it.
With the price of an MRP, do find it to be costly? It seems like the price of those packets has really gone down.
Great post, as always.
Paul,
ReplyDeleteThis blog keeps getting better and has become my #1 destination every day. It has a little of everything sprinkled with your sense of humor.
Keep it up, your training thoughts are very inspiring too!
j
Thanks John!
ReplyDeleteJosh -
Breakfast - 8 egg whites, 1 cup oatmeal
Lunch - MRP with 2 TBS peanut butter
Snack - same as lunch
Dinner - 8 ounces of steak or chicken, sweet potato, salad
2 hours after dinner - MRP or whey with 2 TBS peanut butter
That's all I've been doing this whole time.
Matt - Adding it to netflix.
Hey Paul,
ReplyDeletewill your charge 10$ for both of your books, or for one? When the first one will be available?
Greetings from Germany!
I'm not sure about anything yet. I'm probably going to sell them both for $15 instead. Seems like a better deal. But I'm still mulling all of this over.
ReplyDeleteMy uncle's advice to me one time: "Make as much money as you can."
ReplyDeleteYa, well, thanks uncle Thor. (Yes, his name is Thor, a proud viking.)
Why not sell $10 each, or $15 for both?
I wish I had an Uncle Thor.
ReplyDeleteMy wife keeps telling me this same thing.
Thanks Deeby.
Am I the only one that looked at Platz's "bulking" diet and thought, that ain't much food at all???
ReplyDeletePaul,
ReplyDeleteI was watching some video from the Arnold of the Olympic weightlifters. What do you think of that type of training/lifting compared to centering around the Big 3? I know there's a power v strength argument, but those dudes, and chicks, are damn strong. Thanks and can't wait for the book.
I don't do Oly lifting outside of hang cleans and power cleans so it's hard for me to give an honest opinion. I always watch it, but I just actually want to do it, if that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteMaybe not but he also doesn't give portion sizes on some things. Hamburger patty...doesn't say how big.
ReplyDeleteCheese (quite a bit)
Very large prime rib and then how big is the piece of pie? How much ice cream.
I think my point was, Platz, like most guys, ate and eat junk for lots of calories.
I have actually thought the same thing about that song before. The title doesn't really prepare you for the actual lyrics.
ReplyDeleteSean
Song is morbid dude.
ReplyDeletePaul,
ReplyDeleteIs monday still the planned release date for your programs?
I am working to get it out by tomorrow.
ReplyDelete